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Chance (1991)

i hang on to you

if i could push and then become
that thing that ive been dreaming of
i would flow more easily
like floating without gravity
suddenly release would come
out of where it started from
id feel better for awhile
with my power in a pile
id ride around on top of things
and see what fame and fortune brings
but i dont think that would last
cause i get bored with fortunes fast
it has more to do with feeling good
and doing what you knew you could
id feel good just spreading out
the lies that we could do without
and getting praise for speaking clear
of phoniness and wasted fear

i hang on to you

i have waited way too long
to sing to you this simple song
to cut through the carryings on
of selfish things going on
and sing instead of feeling strong
with something decent to hang on to you

i hang on to you

i cant believe i still get caught
in fights that ive already fought
its little things that hold me down
underneath this higher ground
if i could burst this knitted seam
i think youd see some pretty things
and down would fall this hateful wall
which keeps my aspirations small

i hang on to you

and god i know the other side
i know the world your beauty hides
i know your mom i know your dad
ive heard the fights that weve all had
and i wont make you bring that up
if you dont make me cover up
suddenly its clearer to me
who im turning out to be
maybe too late to make a change
but just in time to rearrange

i still hang on to you



stuck

stuck in a mode unable to smile
im not in a groove and im not in style
and i feel sadness in my mind
i dont know why but i dont cry
and the tears appear but they dont fall

sitting in restaurants on my own
waiting for the rain to go
theres so much to say i havent said
feelings are left inside of my head
if i can just let out what i have inside
i think that i will be alright

ive been so far down that its hard to see
been buried in stupidity
if i cant let it out itll rot inside
twist and turn and end up as lies
and the tears appear but they dont fall

theres anger and greed and envy inside
muted feelings for those who have died
theres you in your dreams and you who you are
youre the nicest guy with the cruelest desires
if i can just let out what i have inside
i think that i will be alright

if i succeed youll say youre not surprised
but did you know that i cant cry
you always said i could do what i want
but then youd leave the room leave it up to me
as if it was all so easy
and the tears appear but they dont fall

why do i struggle why do i fight
what is this need to prove what i might
i wanna rise above what ive risen before
cause i know that i can do much more

if i can just let out what i have inside
i think that i will be alright



man on the corner

the man on the corner has no family
woman walking with no one to talk to
little boy in the foster home
little girl says i wont go
i say itll be ok when i know it may not
my arms around him i say dont stop
you can cry little boy dont be like me
i dont believe itll get much better
i dont believe well see big change
but i think there are things that are alright
i try to dwell in those areas
and i try to show my son that people can be fun
if you can get behind their unfriendly glances
and dark sunglasses

oh what selfish things we are

what can you do when the things you do
the best you can is not good enough
look at martin king he got whittled down
what if i became successful and made lots of money
where would i go and what would i do
id want to give something back to you

oh what selfish things we are

i wanna be on tv i wanna have some fun
fly around and see the sun in the winter time
well i have some friends in los angeles
who are making music for the irs
im doing pretty good
im going out to lunch with my actor friend



i remember

this is something i wrote a few days before my friend arrived:
i remember
i remember meeting you
i was 14    now im 31
youre my oldest friend

i remember driving through the canyon
with two girls we just met
your hand was on her breast and i was impressed
i remember coming over and from the back room
hearing you and your mother fighting
about something that you didnt do

and now your ma is almost dying
and you feel all on your own
and im sitting here almost crying
but i want you to know
you wont be alone when she goes

you were someone i could go off to
someone i could stay up with
someone i could talk to
and someone to play with
i hope my son finds a friend like you

i remember driving to seattle
i was 16
we were stopping at the lakes and the streams and the forests
those were good times
i remember walking
you were talking about changes
i said lets turn around but you said keep walking
we might meet our wives there

i remember being angry
when you got into that nightclub without me
and left me outside
but i was your ride so i waited

and now your ma is dying
shes just lying in bed
and i cant help but wonder
if it was my mom instead

you did things while i backed out
you stuck up while i snuck back
people thought that we were drunk
or taking something
but we were only having fun
never taking none

i remember swimming in the ocean
even when we didnt want to
but we had to cause we said we would
i remember listening to bowie and elton and the beatles
and curling weights til the blood in our veins was bulging
and you told me all your secrets that no one knew
in the middle of the night in my parents back room



and i know

for the longest time ive been wrangled inside
and again tonight im verging on crying
so i go walking on the railroad tracks
away from my home
just walking and thinking
with nowhere special to go
the further i walked the more i changed
i dont want to go back again

cause i know things arent right
i can tell by looking in your eyes
but i also notice some good things
in our way

i am and thats all
you are and thats all
what is is what is
now i can open my eyes

people are quick
so quick to judge
you know how it feels
to be undone
by the car thing
the style thing
the get what you can
head times dead times
from looking around i know
that things arent right
i can tell by looking in your eyes
but i also notice some good things
in our way

i want    i will
go out on my own
and find new places
i can call my own
feeling something building up in my eyes
as i walk underneath electric lines
i go over the hill to my home
where i put my sadness away
for one more day
oh would you believe
what i see where i am what i need



p9 proud

in austin minnesota in august of ‘85
1500 packers laid down their knives
contract lies as profits rise
time to take over our lives
p9 proud

isnt it hard to not give in
and stick by the truth you feel within
when feelings of doubt and pressures mount
and the clang of your money is not loud

and i support these women
and these men in their fight
against injustice and for what is right
concessions were made
now your living without pay
but hormel cant take away your pride

i spoke with the meatman at my local store
i said how many years and he said 24
he told me about the men at the top of these chains
making hundreds an hour but feeling no shame
are you sure hes on the top
are you sure hes better off
cause id rather be with you than him

my son looks to me for security
sometimes i have none
and i worry about the day
when hes old enough to say
daddy tell me why



i saw bob dylan

i saw bob dylan last night
at the state fair
a couple of thousand
people were there
he look disheveled in ruffled clothes
put on a very strange show
and it made me sad
to see him that way
barely able to play
the guys in the band
were watching his hands
they didnt know where they would land

and thats sad
cause hes the man
who i used to wanna be
and im sad for him
the guy within
cause i think he knows
his writing shows
that hes no saint

people around me
were drinking and screaming
and high
way in the back
they were saying goodbye

and thats sad
cause hes the man
who i used to wanna be

in some way its me i fault
for not being able to vault
out of my mind and into the show
out of my seat and into the row
and its hard to know
whats going on anymore

i saw bob dylan last night
at the state fair
a couple of thousand people were there



for dad

staring at the ground
not even looking around
as the days go by
sorry daddy i left you
but ive had a hard time too
you see they took my heart
tore it apart
and left me nothing to do
but i still need you
cause you see things like i do
the gloom on their faces
as theyre standing in line
things gone wrong on their minds
but im regaining my grasp
confusion past
whats so hard about just hanging on

well i have clearly in mind
those simple times no one felt any pain
now i do
singing in the car
playing hoops til it got dark
we made fun of it all
but now im wondering where i will land
when im tired of traveling
and have slipped into man like you

there are no answers
beyond my skin
everything i need
is already within
my only help
comes from out of the blue
daddy i love you



love song

this is a love song
because i love you
this is a love song
thats only for you
so you will know
when my window is closed
i still have some love for you
for you

this is a love song
thats long overdue
taking for granted
the things that you do
so when im mad
and im feeling sad
know that theres love for you
for you



im the one

i have squandered so much time
pushing passion into rhyme
i have wasted so much time
just for faking out your mind

and im the one who criticized
im the one whos paralyzed
im the one who minimized our love

i have time to sing this song
and it feels good to be turned on
i have faith that you were wrong
about these feelings that were gone

i have tried and i have failed
but i will try til i unveil
because i know i have inside
a reservoir of love that died

i can see the waitress smile
i can see that its worthwhile
i can see a little love
and itll have to be enough

i can see the bullets fly
see the widowed mother cry
i can see the baby scream
see his mother turn and leave

i can see what often hides
i can feel what often blinds
i can see what people have
i can cry when im sad



hope hope hope

hope hope hope for rain
dust in my eyes
trying to hide
these painful highs

push push there is no pain
immune no more
theres an open sore
and bloodshot eyes
that comes to me
shaking in the night

please please please me more
somethings inside
come back again sometime
well talk some more

they say wait wait wait for love
i can wait no more
she comes to me
shaking in the night
julie dream away

spin spin spinning hard
into butterfly
one more hurdle high
then ill be free

walk walk walking away
i must be brave
its the same downward gaze
day after day
that comes to me
shaking in the night

think think thinking of peace
bombed by einstein
we can talk all night
its three not four
i had a pretty horrible insight
that came to me
shaking in the night
julie dream away
julie    julie
dream dream dream away
no fear of dying


mae cole: vocal on stuck and i saw bob dylan
may jarril: cello on stuck and for dad
bruce orr: bassoon on and i know and hope hope hope
eliot greenspan: mandolin on im the one



Scott Seskind (1985)

i wonder

well im so nervous and unprepared
for the broken days that lie ahead
my weakness never leads to sleep
theres nothing left for me to dream

so i close my eyes and i sink back
down into familiar grounds
she loves me   theres love in her eyes
and i take it   the love that is mine

im not gonna say what youve been trained to praise
dont callous my mind with your advertising ways
you talk so big about the things you use
then you come down so hard on things youve abused
give your emotions to me
you who you really are

ive got a good imagination
i know whats on your mind
and it feels so good to be pulled by you
this is reason for staying alive
what in the world is this world   i wonder

well julie is a baby and then shes seventeen
i try and draw her passion before she falls to dream
and i do   and she does   she calls   and i come
she  loves  me    theres love in her eyes
and i take it    the love that is mine
theres a storm ahead a lullaby gone by

well theres an old man fishing on the pier
i hear different sounds in different ears
snows falling everywhere the same
its mother nature saying its gonna be ok
what in the world is this world    i wonder

im not gonna say what youve been trained to praise
dont callous my mind with your advertising ways
you talk so big about the things you use
then you come down so hard on things youve abused
give your emotions to me    you who you really are

and its not so easy just being free
‘cause no ones accepting who weve turned out to be
she loves me   theres love in her eyes   and i take it
the love that is mine



unknown and disliked

ive never been so unknown and disliked
riding the fence between my broken lines
trying to find what i already have
seems everyones off on their own
god wont you leave me alone

janeys so busy with her new misery
trying to be whats so fine
she always is changing to be what shes not
now janeys off on her own
and god wont you leave me alone

well you can leave me be til you can help me see
what we should be doing
and until you can dont expect me to plan
for the future which you are pursuing

i cant make decisions about colors and taste
theres too many leavers with nothing to brace
im leaking red under mine
seems everyones off on their own
i wanna be alone

janeys too fast to run by my side
she already knows what she wants to decide
when she gets it she has it and needs something new
but she never looks down from above
seems everyones off on their own
why cant we be alone

its all the same to me
aint nothing gonna change
so ill just stay inside inside
i only came along for the ride

well you can leave me be til you can help me see
what we should be doing
and until you can dont expect me to plan
for the future which you are pursuing



empty arms

i think of you late at night
wondering why were apart
the darkness fades to light
im sleepin in my own empty arms

well ive been dreamin ‘bout the way things were
and of what i could of done
but watching out of my way
has been enough for me

we dont have to stay here
this aint the only way
living doesnt have to mean
dying afraid

and maybe they have more to show
to prove they aint been wasting their time
but i have you
and weve been doing alright

im not being negative
im just trying not to lie
but the only time i feel at ease
is when i look up through your eyes

i think of you late at night
wondering why were apart
the darkness fades to light
im sleeping in my own empty arms



out of the blue

please dont make me apologize
for the pain that i can realize
in those wholl never sympathize with me

for even though i criticize
all people who cant fantasize
youve never heard me say their sweats in vain

i know i sometimes terrorize
the frightened ones who memorize
their lines until theyre classified as hate

they tell me i romanticize
i have no right to agonize
‘cause no ones had it easier than me

now im the only one i criticize
theres no excuse for my demise
i hate to think ill always be this way
ive always been this way



been waitin’

well ive been waitin’
waitin’ for a change
yes ive been waitin’
circling round for days
i dont wanna sound afraid
cause you any worry
but i can see behind your moves
cut right through your daily dues
and your begging for my love
begging to be loved
i can read it just behind your eyes

if we could be together
then there would be no doubt
instead its just anticipating
holding backs getting so frustrating
i could do much better if i tried
cared enough to try

but im a bit disappointed
by the way ive unfolded
and by these fads i see you try on
and you may say im a coward
sometimes i think so too
but i prefer to portray myself as
a bud unflowered
a speaking bud unflowered

sometimes i get so angry
i wanna bring it all down
i feel like ice in a frying hot pan
im too small   a sizzle   a sound
im too small to bring the heat down



war

war war war
is on my mind
i gotta decide
which side
im fighting for
war

i got nothing to fight for
i see who i am
reflection of this enemy
the trigger finger on his hand

i am he
he is me
the bells ringing for me
the death toll is for me

will it really be different
when the neighbor boy dies
i dont care for that neighbor boy
anymore than a russian spy

i am he
he is me
the bells ringing for me
the death toll is for me



our ring

well i guess youll be taking our ring
from your finger
and letting some stranger
play with your hair
and i cant decide how much to care
‘cause i still want you

well i know im not the only one
who wants to be with you
im no more me than anyone
but tonight im here with you

maybe you were right all along
and maybe i was wrong
maybe you had something to say
and maybe i was gone
maybe im no good for you
and i should let you go
but maybe it dont matter anymore

my words have been defeated
i want to touch you with my hands
like the water touches sand
striving you are
striving i am



bobby sands

well i dont know ‘bout you but im a bit surprised
at how much pain we allow in peoples lives
take this guy bobby sands
who preferred to die than to eat from paid hands

bobby could see beyond his own grass
to the love at the end of an impossible task
so he did the only thing he could to survive
he stopped eating ‘til it blinded his eyes
so he wouldnt have to look anymore
at the battleground streets
and the senseless war

i hope we learn a thing or two
from bobby sands point of view
so we dont have to lose
any more good men
to the lies that closed down
bobby sands eyes

well he couldnt go on fighting in vain
so he sat in his corner and withered away
no food at all only water and salt
still after 60 days he aint falling apart

i dont agree with killing a man
for what he never did understand
but for bobby, who went to parliament
life was like running a race
with his feet in cement

bobbys mother did plead
“no death in his name
hes dying for peace
not more of the same”

maybe i dont enough
to sing this song
but dying for peace
cant be all wrong

the worst part
is that when bobby sands dies
not enough people will sympathize
with his cause
and more bullets will fly
through the clear spring sky
the pretty clear sky

at least bobby will be gone
and taken away
leaving me with nothing
and with nothing to say

well its the 3rd of may 1981
and bobby sands is almost done
and they say
when he finally dies
the people of belfast
will hear familiar cries
of young boys
dying in the streets
from the same army bullets
that their papas did meet

when i hear hes gone
on the 6 o’clock news
ill switch off that damn set
and slip on my shoes
and ill walk on over
to the schoolyard nearby
give a kid a push on a swing
and empty out
my bobby sands sigh

im just a grain of bobby sands
and im sinking down in
to bobby sands eyes

theyre screaming bobbys name in the streets
every time there is a new defeat
sing bobby



this is my country

oh lord its me again
sorry to say ive lost my way
everything ive fought against
im surrendering to
everythings thats glamorous
ive seen through
i cant take it this way

this is my country
and i wish i was proud of it
this is my life what can i get out of it
this is my world
sometimes i want out of it

so proud   so tall   so plain
so straight   so strong
you are to be with me
i am

i dont like hating this country that i live in
i dont like hearing hopeless criticism
america why are you this way
so sure you found the very best way
i dont want to be ashamed
i dont believe it has to be this way

i see you crawling down on your knees
away from who you thought you would be
your words are firm but your eyes cant hide
the sadness that keeps them from mine
your eyes    like flies    you can land on me
‘cause ive been through what youre coming from
i cant believe what life is



back in my room

back in my room again
waiting for the phone
it did ring
it was her
she did say
im going away
i dont know why

so now im here
i had to get away
theres no one near
to tell me im ok
but theyre not too far
gone another day

i dont know
what pushed me outta there
i guess some fear
of losing my identity
theres nothing new here
but somethings not the same

it wont be long
until youre gone
and ill be the one
whos hanging on
pleading for your sympathy

well take me now
before i slip away
or forget about me
gone just another day

i hope i find
a place where i fit in
but i wont mind
if this is all thats meant for me
take my time
ive got a friend to see
take me time
its all the same to me

back in my room again
waiting for the phone
it did ring
it was her
she did say
im going away
i dont know why



youre the reason

you know why
my love did hide
you are why
my loves so fine

i come home
wait for you
is my love a wasted thing
or shared by you?

happiness comes
and goes without you
will we spend more time
or go on our own?

youre the reason why
my loves so fine
is my love a wasted thing
or shared by you?

somehow i know
you know too
time has come to
be with you

youre the reason why
my loves so fine
is my dream a wasted thing
or shared by you?

is my love a wasted thing
or do you share it too?
shared by you
is my love a wasted thing
or shared by you?



here i am

here i am in your city
any city will do
and i just wanna lie here
until my dreams come true

well there are times when i feel ive been left alone
from people trying to make it on their own
they work from a plan with sure goals in mind
they ignore everything that could leave them behind

you say you need more friends    i only needed you
youre everything i hoped for but now you say its through
at least listen to me cry    as i bargain with the sky
for help    on a helpless day
when everything i am gets in my way

ive been holding back
all the love that is me
its been like living locked up in a cell
with a crying baby out of reach
theres a crying baby out of reach

are you still without the strength
to run with me out on the plank
‘cause im so restless i cant sit still
how much more time must we kill

here i am in your city
any city will do
and i just wanna lie here
until my dreams come true

 

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